Dyspraxia, SPD & Preschool

Jam is currently almost 5 years old.

Recently, I mentioned that as Jam approaches that age when schooling traditionally begins, I'm getting anxious and panicky. Well, the reality is that I've been anxious and panicky for the past two and a half years since his diagnosis, knowing this time would eventually come. And here it is.

Originally, I had thought that enough early intervention would allow us to mainstream Jam into regular kindergarten and 'on time'. Aahhh, such sweet naiveté...

It was interesting to re-read this post I wrote two years ago about our preschool situation and the decisions we made. 

Lots has happened since then. 

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Originally posted to SPD Blogger Network on June 6, 2011. 

Ugh- this day has finally arrived. Today is the registration deadline to continue with our cooperative preschool program in the fall. I’ve thought about this decision so many times over the school year and I get a headache every single time. But it’s now down to the wire. I need to take a pre-emptive Advil, hand the kid off and figure this thing out.

I live in a big city with an excellent cooperative preschool system run through our local community college. And, believe me, I know I’m fortunate- because the program relies on parents working part-time in the classroom with the teacher (as well as other responsibilities), cooperative preschools aren’t an option for many, many folks. By participating, I even earn quarterly college credit. And the best part is that Jam and I have been able to share this experience together. If we continued, it would be our third year in the co-op system. I think it’s a great program and recommend it to every parent I meet, but I’ve been thinking it might not be the best option for SPD kids. Or maybe just not my SPD kid. 

It was obvious right away Jam was one of those ‘slow-to-warm’, cautious babies so when he turned one I enrolled us in a weekly toddler co-op class hoping the safe and supportive environment would help warm him up to new people and experiences. Other than not leaving my side for more than five minutes during the entire year, he seemed, not great, but OK with it. So I signed us up for the next level for two-years olds. We had even continued through the summer so we wouldn’t have to transition back into the routine, though our new school would be at a different location with a whole new group of kids and meeting twice a week. 

One of the major goals we work towards at the 2-year-old level is for kids to start gaining experience in independence and being on their own in class away from mom or dad so parents work one day a week and drop off the other day. We have three weeks of school left and I was just able to successfully drop Jam off last week. It’s taken 30 weeks to get him here and now we’re getting ready to break for the summer. I’ll have to start over again in the fall with hopefully a much shorter transition period. 

So why did it take so long? Well, our classroom space is great- spacious and bright. Maybe not so great for kids who rely on contained spaces in order to cope with constant sensory assault. And, as you can imagine, the noise level of 20 toddlers plus 11 adults can be epic. Also, those 11 adults rotate every other class which is hard on my consistency-loving child. (Again, just another one of those attempts to predict and control his surroundings.) Plus, with his SPD-related motor delays, he’s pretty wary around other kids, being as ‘unpredictable’ as they can be. And we won’t even talk about the transitions from Free Play to Circle Time to Snack to Playground to Closing Circle. The kid is exhausted by the end of the 2 hour class. Come fall, the classes will be four times a week and 2 ½ hours long!

So why would I do this again? Jam's occupational therapist and I agree that the most comfortable setting for him would be a small, multi-age, in-home daycare; quieter, more constant, more flexible transitions. I don’t know where you live but here demand is much greater than supply. Much. Greater. He’d be in kindergarten before we got called off a waitlist! And the cost for said care? More than I can afford. 

So why put him anywhere? First, he’s going to be 3 soon and we need to continue building his world experience and coping strategies. Second, I’d love to go back to work. When Jam came along, I told my boss I’d be gone for a year. Two years, maximum. And now we’re heading into year three with no end in sight. Have I mentioned that I loved my job? I think I’ve reined in my former workaholic ways, but still, my soul needs to work. And, no, playing ‘Fire Engine Rescue’ and ‘Galactic Explorers’ all day does not count. (Though it is seriously hard work!)

So how have I decided, after all of this, to continue with co-op? Well, familiarity and consistency go a long way with Jam. Our class will be in the same space we’re in now, with the same routine and with at least 12 kids from his current class. There are many parents who already know and care about him. More importantly, I’ll be able to continue watching his progress closely and to support him where he needs help. I feel a bit panicked that in a few short years, he’ll be entering a more traditional setting where I’ll have less input and opportunity. 

So it’s not the best place for Jam. And it’s not the best place for me. But it is the best place for ‘us’.